Well alot has happened since the last time I posted on this thing. The friend I was having problems with and I kind of parted ways from each other. We still talk just not as much and I have moved on. But now I have to be very carefull not to put myself into the same siguation and not fall head over heals for someone again. This is going to be hard since there is already someone who has caught my interest and they seem like someone I could really get along well with. Dang it I cant do this again I have to keep myself in check I need to just forget about the whole trying to find someone cause its just not gonna happen and Im just gonna get hurt all over again....

Alot of times around the holidays its hard being single, there are just certain things that you want to share with someone special and if you dont have someone then its tough. Its even tougher when you care about someone but you cant get them to feel the same way. Im writing this cause Ive just felt down this evening and I need to get it off of me. I guess I miss a closeness that I had with a friend the feeling that no matter what you could call them up and just say hey and talk about what ever. I miss having someone care about whats going on in my life, right now its like a empty feeling. I know that there isnt anything I can do about it and that I have to move on but its almost impossible with nights like these. I dont know if the scars from this one will ever stop hurting. I tried to focus on other people maybe be interested in someone else and that didnt work cause I felt like I was cheating which is stupid I know. Its kind of like that country song "I miss my friend". Its hard not to get depressed if I watch any tv there are things on there that just make it ten times worse. I dont know what Im going to do a part of me wishes I never met her. Every time I see her its like looking at something I failed at and there is something wrong I did or there is something about me that makes it not work. I know every one wants someone to like them but dude can I just have one person like me once in my life like honestly am I asking for to much all I want is one girl to be interested in me.

Im posting on this webite honestly cause I dont think any one reads it any more. I have been struggling with alot of things in my life right now. I have a close friend that I used to talk to all the time about anything and things were great until I had to started having feelings for her. And she doesnt feel the same way. I began to question things like why do I have feelings for someone who doesnt feel the same way and why cant I get rid of them. I tried to make things work and still be friends with her but it started to get harder and harder. Just this past week I mest up again for like the 3rd time when I sent an email saying I was frustrated that we didnt talk as much. You know what good that did well it only made her talk to me less. I cant really explain to any one what Im going through cause most people wont understand. There are days when I think about just getting in my car and start driving and never look back. I know you think that this is stupid and that I shouldnt be that upset and your probably right, but I am and I dont know how to get over this. Some people tell me just be her friend right now and maybe things will change later on. And that sounds easy to do but some how I always find a way to screw it up and I dont want to keep making her upset cause she has enough to deal with already with School and other problems...I honestly feel like just crying right now but I cant.....

Musical Baton

Ok let me try this one again see if I can get it right this time.

Total volume of music files on my computer: 501

The last CD I bought was:
I dont remember the name of it but I know it was a Backstreet boy cd a long! long! time ago.

Song playing right now:
“Its Hard to Say Im Sorry" by Az Yet

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

1."Back Home" Yellowcard ( This song means alot to me)
2."True Colors" Phill Collins ( Yeah I still got the song stuck in my head!!!)
3."Something to Sleep To" Michelle Branch ( Really good song!)
4."Home" Staind ( This is my favorite song for when Im depressed = (
5."Sooner Or Later" Breaking Benjamin ( This song is for all the girls that didnt like me haha)

There are tons more songs that I like or that mean alot to me and I know Im all over the place with the songs but hey thats the way my life is just one big roller coaster.

Classics

Ok recently I have started to listening to good old songs instead of the newer rock or pop. I used to listen to an oldies station all the time but then thought it wasnt cool any more for some reason. Alot of you might think Im weird or that Im going through one of those phases, and maybe I am. I told some of my friends about what I was listening to some laughed and others tried to get me to see a doctor haha j/k. Ill go ahead and tell you some of the songs Ive been listening to. Any thing from the Beach Boys is good stuff and you can never go wrong with them. Ive also been listening to some of the Temptations and the Platters. Any one ever heard of a band called Az Yet, a great song by them is "Its hard to say Im sorry". Oh yeah and one of my close friends got this song stuck in my head by Phil Collins "True Colors". Yeah its still stuck in my head haha but I guess were even cause I got a song stuck in your head to haha. Ok well I dont know why I made this post but I thought it would be funny so if you like it cool if not well leave your number and I will send ya something haha.

New Band

Ok this is a new band I just heard. I dont know if any of you have heard them already but the name of the band is Hidden In Plain View. They are alot like a band called Matchbook Romance but they just mix up alot of sounds. And they dont just have a couple of good songs they actually have alot. If you are reading this just download one of the songs I put up from this band cause they are really good and you wont regret it. Heres a list of some of the songs, "20 Below", "An American Classic", "Eyes Like a Target", "Bleed For You","The Chaser","Where the Highway Ends", "The Point", and "Ashes Ashes". Now these arent all the songs they have this is only a few that I liked, but have yet to get all of them. So there you go this is a great band that hopefully you havent heard already.

Bands

Ok one of my friends suggested that I post about some of the new bands that I have found lately since he doesnt really have any way to hear new stuff. So I guess this is going to be a little different then my normal posts.
The first band I will start off with is a band called Armor For Sleep. There music is alot like a harder version of New Found Glory but maybe not as good as them haha. Some of their songs that I thought were good are "Car Under Water", "Kind Of Perfect", and "RainDrops"(This is a great song).
The next band is called Straylight Run. This band is a slow more mellow type of band and they like to incorporate a piano in some of their songs. One of the more popular songs is called "Existenstialism On Prom Night" other songs include "Slow Decent" and "The Tension And The Terror".
Ok this is going to be the last band and its pretty much the best that I have found so far. The band is called Saosin and it is more on the rock side then the punk so for those who like hard music this is a good band. I showed one of my friends the band and he was totally pumped up about it. Some of the songs are "I Cant Tell", "Translating a Name","3rd Measurement In C" and "They Perch On Their Stilts And Dare Me To Breathe".
This is not a band its just an artist and more so one song that I want to throw out there cause I do like slow songs. And I guess this is for the women readers out there but if you havent already heard of a girl by the name of Natalie I dont even know her last name or I cant find it listed on the song. The name of the song is "Going Crazy" and its more of a slow song but I really like it and suggest if you havent heard it listen to it.
Ok these are just some of the recent Bands and or songs I have found and maybe you have heard them already if you have then thats fine, Im just giving you a chance to hear new things. If your one of my friends that doesnt really like to download music just IM me when Im online and let me know what songs you want and I will send them to you. Aight peace out.